There are no coincidences

I originally wrote this as a blog on Myspace. I feel like I need to share it here also.

I've been laying in bed trying to sleep. Something just kept weighing on me, on my heart. I feel like I need to put it out here for everyone.

It's amazing how one simple sentence can alter your entire life. You are going through your life.... going to work, helping the kids with their homework, trying to pay bills and looking for the best grocery deals. Then suddenly, in one moment, with one sentence, everything you knew before is no longer important. It is practically nonexistant. In May 2008, my best friend's dad had told her that change was coming to our life, mine & my children's. I had no idea just how life altering that change was going to be. One sentence changed our entire lives forever......

"Your son's white blood cell count is elevated."

That sentence, that one sentence, changed it all. In that moment I knew that nothing would ever be the same again, no matter what the outcome.

Leukemia was the word the doctor and I spoke together.

For almost 2 years I had worked in nursing homes, taking care of the elderly when they could no longer care for themselves. I had laughed and cried with them. I had been there to hold their hands as they exhaled for the last time. Not as a nurse, but as a CNA. There was more personal contact with the residents than if I had been a nurse. Looking back on it now, there was a reason why there had been so many obstacles during all the time I tried to go to nursing school. I wasn't suppose to be a nurse, not at that time, maybe never. I haven't figured that part out yet. I now see that me falling into that profession wasn't an accident. When Sara came to me and told me there were positions open, there was a reason to it that neither of us saw at the time. She may not still see it, I'm not sure. She may have forgotten all about that. I believe that God placed me there, not so much to care for others, but to prepare me for what I was going to have to do for my own son. To teach me how to care for him during all these months. God sent Kevin to us, knowing we would need him, knowing that I needed someone strong enough to hang on and be my rock. Nothing, not one thing, in my life during the past few years has been an accident, or coincidence. It all had a purpose. Even as far back as 2006 when I lost my job and moved back home. God knew what was coming. He knew that this is where we needed to be, that we would need to be home with our family. That we would need their love and support. It was no coincidence that my children and Mike Taylor were drawn to each other, that they had so much contact with each other. God placed us all together, because he knew that Mike's heart and his caring for others would help my son.

During Kyle's first week at UK, they found that he would have to have a transplant to survive. Within days, they knew this. Something that sometimes takes months took only days to find out. Immediately Mike was working with the community and my family to arrange drives to find a donor for Kyle. In under 3 months over 600 people were tested. Kyle's condition brought the entire communtiy back together, when so many communities are falling apart. It has made our community stronger. Within 3 months, Kyle had a donor. Another amazing event. So many kids wait months, even years, for a match while their parents pray constantly that their child holds on until one is found. Those 3 months were agonizing for us. I can only imagine what other parents must be going through, having to wait so much longer. I have watched other children do well and go home, while others leave their family to be with God. And although Kyle's donor didn't come from any of the drives that were put together for him, I think of how many other children will have a chance to live... to play with their friends, go to school, sit with their families at Christmas dinner.... because of all those who came out for my son. So many others may have the same gift as Kyle because of the caring hearts in our community. What greater gift could ever be given than life? I don't know who's DNA is coursing through my son's veins, but I am, and will be, eternally grateful for the small sacrifce that he made. Small for him.... a few days with a sore bum..... but the greatest blessing that I could ever have recieved, my son's life.

Kyle recovered so quickly. 3 months post transplant he was coming home, while so many children were still hospitalized. Some had been there nearly a year. I met a mother who had been there for 2 years with her daughter. I watched a mother of twins take one daughter home and bury the other. While my son was coming home. He has had no complications. He is the third in my family. Leukemia took two of my 1st cousins. Kyle is our survivor, our first. And I hope our last. I pray that the cycle has been broken and no one else in our family will have to endure this. I pray that they find a cure for those who are diagnosed.

Looking back at all that has happened, there were no coincidences. God's fingerprints are everywhere. I'm not saying that He gave my son this illness, but He gave us the means to beat it. He gave us the strength to keep moving forward, the hope to not give up. He has been here ever second of every day.... every step along the way. There is a reason for it all. He wants Kyle here, on this earth. I don't know the purpose yet, but there is a purpose for it. I don't know what he has planned for my little boy, but I'm sure it is amazing. So far, Kyle and his situation, his healing, has been a testament that God is still with us, that He has never left, and will always be here. That He hasn't given up on the human race. He is just waiting for us to look up and see Him, to take His hand. Maybe this is why He saved my son. Maybe there is no other reason, but to remind us that He is here with us. And if that is the only reason, that is good enough for me. Because I am looking up, I am taking notice, and I am thankful.

Our little family has been completely changed because of this experience. We are thankful for every sunrise we are blessed to see, instead of groaning about another day at work. We are thankful for our home, instead of wishing it were bigger or nicer or in a different location. We are thankful for each other, instead of focusing on how to buy the new car or finance a fancy vacation. No one in our house ever mentions missing an episode of our favorite tv show. Instead we spend our time together, spread out in the living room floor with Twister or Scrabble. This has taught each one of us just how valuable we are to each other. Kyle told me, not so long ago, that he has learned that as long as you have your family you don't need anything else. And he is right.



This is from a bulletin I also posted on Myspace tonight, for my blog entry.

I laid down tonight and couldn't sleep. There are some things that have been weighing on my heart for a while, getting heavier each day. I can never seem to find just the right words, but felt I needed to write down as much as I could tonight. It is a public blog. I rarely blog and it is always just for those on my friends list. But tonight I felt that it should be public, for all of myspace to read.
Comments are not necessary. You'll know what to do after you read it. You'll know that you should be kneeling at your bed and thanking God for everything that He has blessed you with in this life, instead of switching on your television set. You'll know that you should be kissing your children's foreheads goodnight and reading them their favorite story, instead of doing the dinner dishes. Those can wait until the morning, but these moments with your family are moments that you can only lose if not used, you never get them back. Roll over and snuggle to your husband or wife tonight, who cares who had to take out the trash. Remember to be thankful for the life that you have, no matter what trial you may be facing, because this is the life that God has blessed you with, for reasons you may not know nor understand at this moment. Never forget that every breath that you take is a gift and use it wisely, for yourself and for others.